The field went on for miles. In total blackness, no one could know where the empty space ended or where it began. The only real thing about this place was the wet grass she could feel through her sandals as she ran. Running forward here means so little, since one could easily turn one-hundred and eighty degrees and have no sense that one was treading over familiar ground, territory traversed only seconds ago. This landless ocean of a field wasn't being navigated- it was swallowing her whole. Just before she succumbed to being eaten alive by the night, Elita felt the the wet blades of grass give off a waft of steam as they kissed her cheek.

Elita woke to a bruised sky and knew it was impossible to determine how long she had been unconscious. This is the time of day when it takes a few more moments to know if the light might last or if there will be more running through the abyss like an escaped convict. If the light continued to develop, today would be a day she could establish a direction to move. She would run to the east to become someone she recognized if possible. If they would allow her. If they would let her go.

She began heartily scratching the tiny red raised bumps on her legs and wondered if malaria was carried by the mosquitoes this far north. She took a long look at the muddy purple air and began to plead with the sky for a few more hours of daylight to travel. She hoped this expanse of obscurity wouldn't take more than a few more days to cross. If she could locate some kind of township, she could procure a vehicle and travel with greater ease. To get a vehicle would mean not sleeping in the cold grass. And, at this point, she would gouge out an eye for a hot bath.

I know God is real. It does not matter to me if you do not know this. It does not matter to me if you cannot comprehend how I could draw such a conclusion. It makes no difference to my beliefs if you blame every solitary conflictual earthly moment on religious zealots. Perhaps there is blame to be doled out justly. These historical facts have no bearing on my sense that God is real and that God is with me.

I have always known of God since I was a child. I had a sense of presence from a very early age. This presence was articulated when I was old enough to apply the vocabulary offered to me. As a young child I had a better understanding of this presence than I did as a teenager and young adult. But now, at this point in my life I am keenly aware of the presence and the impact following God's will has on my life.

There are those who would read my words and believe I am truly insane. There are many who would read my words and compare them to the words of lunatics who drown babies in bathtubs or start compounds where adults force children to engage in sexual depravities. There are some who would read my words and blame individuals with my mindset for the crumbling of impenetrable buildings and the death of millions.

As I write these words, I know those who would dismiss my comments as the ravings of an unstable, dangerous, psychologically deficient person more simply just do not understand or listen to God.

Simply put, God is unending Love and Creation. Those of us who truly believe in God and attempt to follow God, know that God does not will human beings to cause suffering. God does not tell mothers to drown babies in bathtubs, nor does God will wayward people to live in camps and have sexual relations with minors. God does not will human beings to blow up buildings.

These statements may cause some theologians to correct me and inform me that I am far too small in the scheme of existance to have any idea what God wills. I agree and disagree all at the same time. I agree that I am small. I agree that I am insignificant in the scheme of existance and creation. But I also disagree because I know that even when fear declares a battle for my spirit, God is guiding me. God is communicating with me. I have blocked this communication during various periods of my life by choosing sin. When that communication has been blocked I have experienced suffering,the suffering has led to reopening a dialogue. When the dialogue is occuring on a regular continuous basis, I feel a serene joy.

The torah, the bible, and the koran, impart stories to generations of human beings. Some of these stories are historical. Some of these stories are parable. I am no authority to add or detract or even comment on anything written in the bible. I will not even discuss theology with anyone who merely wishes to quote scripture. Even when an appropriate scripture comes to mind.

In the world there are many more religions. Religions based on nature, religions based on other Gods. Religions based on being anti-religious. And if that isnt complicated enough, as busy human beings, with a worldly life to attend to, we completely overlook how intensely religious traditions of various kinds have woven themselves into our daily culture.

However, in God, in Love, in Creation, there is one religion. One message and it is so real and so simple that perhaps our limited abilities to concentrate or maintain a singular connection to that message is further thwarted by our own biological humanity, our earthly fears, and our concepts of impending mortality.

Despite our limitations, as a biological species we have been provided with gifts no other biological species on the planet earth possesses. We are stewards of our planet and like God we are capable of creation in many forms. Unlike God, we are imperfect and we must contend with sin. Like God we are beings of great power. Power that comes from choice. As humans, we can choose sin, which is the vehicle for destruction, or we can choose to be closer to God, the source of creation. This is the vinegar in which we drown our cucumbers- the pickling process.

Some would say, well if God is Love, if God is unending Creation, if God does not will impending destruction caused by sin, why does God tolerate the human ability to choose sin? If you have asked yourself this question you are smart enough to know the answer. That is an unsatisfying answer I suppose for some of you. It is unsatisfying because in reading this, you are curious to my opinion, my belief, my faith. Still, perhaps you only want me to answer so you can raise your arguments, strengthen your stance, to expose some fallacy in my reasoning that is obviously incomprhensible to me and my deluded condition.

When I choose sin, I fail God and I fail myself. When my behaviors are rooted in love for all Creation, like God, I am not contending with sin and in these moments I am closest in my relationship with God.

I am nothing special. I have no great works to point to. I have not fed starving children, I have not converted a single soul to one faith or another. There have been days in my life wasted by wallowing in selfish destruction. Did I know those behaviors were wrong then? Yes. Did I choose wrong? Yes. Do I blame God for my choices? No.Did God will my suffering in those days? No. Does God will my reconnection? Yes. Am I oversimplifying things? Nope.

But what of innocents who suffer? What of those who die needlessly and horrendously? Why are they hurt by sin? How can God love all of creation in a pure an ceaseless fashion and tolerate the existance of sin that causes such suffering? Human choice. Humans, with the ability to defy God. How can that be? It is. God is. What of the opportunities for humanity to become more like God- to be closer to becoming beings that exhibit love for all creation? What of the opportunities we as human beings have to answer prayers, to heal the sick, to lend an ear, to teach another what unconditional love feels in a worldy sense, that they might better understand unconditional love in a spiritual sense? - What of the endless chances provided to us to triumph over sin?

God has already shown us how.